The BOSM English Press (BEP) met with Rohan Pandey and Yash Sahoo, the self-titled ‘Top Dawgs’ of the Department of Photography (DoPy), to talk about their preparations for the upcoming edition of BOSM.
Yash stated that to understand the work of DoPy, it was important to understand the history of cameras, and went on to explain the story of how cameras came into being, mentioning the camera obscura and whatnot.
The BEP would like to draw a parallel with Tucker Carlson’s 2024 interview with Vladimir Putin for Fox News, where Putin, when asked about Russia bombing children’s hospitals in Ukraine, led to an irrelevant rant explaining the history of Eastern Europe from the 9th century CE.
Rohan, in a failed attempt to one-up Yash’s knowledge of cameras, explicated that cameras were ‘little cuboidal box thingies that could be used to click pretty screenshots of people’s faces’.
Yash stated that thanks to DoPy, these ‘pretty screenshots’ could be purchased for the low, low price of fifteen rupees per snap, and repeatedly continued to emphasise that they would advocate for it being at that price for as long as possible. They consider this price a ‘steal’, given that photography was meant for ‘collecting memories’, a sentiment Rohan echoed, adding that photography is an ‘artistic and intrinsic’ part of life and should be a right for everyone, much like water.
‘Especially if it’s like, nude photos of Rohan Pandey. Everyone deserves those!’ Yash remarked.
The BEP would like to clarify that it does not consider Rohan Pandey’s nude photographs a universal right.
About the department’s activities for BOSM, Yash said DoPy would be clicking photos at different sporting events, besides taking ‘DoPy snaps’ during the weekend right before BOSM.
‘It is a very thankless job, generating a lot of money for the SFC, but we’re fine with it since we really, really love the SFC’, Yash said, before boasting of a projected revenue of 6.7 lakh rupees, with his only justification for that obscene number being ‘Wherever Yash Sahoo goes, money follows’. He then randomly highlighted the importance of consent in life, be it while clicking pictures or doing ‘other things’, before triumphantly announcing: ‘We capture memories for 15 rupees a piece!’
The BEP then asked DoPy’s self-proclaimed Top Dawgs to name all photographers since they loved photography so much, to which they could only list seven names besides their own: John Photography, Kevin Photography, Leonardo DiCaprio, LeBron James, Pratyush Kathuria, Shyam Raghavan and Rishabh Malik.
The BEP has independently verified the last two names to be former Top Dawgs of DoPy, and has arrived at the conclusion that the remaining five are likely made-up names.
Yash and Rohan went on to elaborate on how the department had strived to consistently maintain a high quality of photography, and that the bar for recruiting photographers, too, was very, very high.
They explained in great detail the multiple gruelling rounds of recruitment that everyone wanting to join the department had to go through, which only the best candidates eventually cleared.
When asked about how the department prepared for fests in general and BOSM in particular, Yash said they would charge their batteries and empty their SD cards, to which Rohan added that they also performed inventory checks to see if they needed more chargers or SD cards. The answer to this question (to nobody’s surprise) was always a ‘yes’, since there is no upper limit to human greed, and they would go begging to the SFC for more chargers and SD cards, a pointless exercise that almost always led to nothing. Rohan then spoke of rumours of a certain member of the SFC never brushing his teeth, and accused him of having ‘stinky breath’.
The BEP has decided not to mention this individual’s name to maintain journalistic standards, since no independent verification could be conducted into Rohan’s claims.
The interview was then crashed by DoPy’s APOGEE 2026 Top Dawg, Siddhant Mishra, who kindly ‘lent’ the BEP writer a single masala wheel to munch on. The three Top Dawgs present claimed that the unprecedented delay in delivering this year’s APOGEE snaps was due to the ongoing US-Iran War and the closure of the Strait of Hormuz, which had resulted in a holdup on the delivery channels.
The BEP, once again, cannot independently verify these claims due to a lack of correspondents in the Middle East at the moment.
On a parting note, Yash warned the readers to be wary of the food stalls, alleging that they were ‘scams’. He then urged freshers not to ask their seniors for ‘stall treats’. Yash further encouraged everyone to get DoPy snaps instead, since they were billed to semester fees rather than real-time payment, which made them ‘practically free’. Rohan’s final message was a quote by John Photography, who he alleged was the true inventor of photography.
The BEP’s fact-checking team has verified that there is no historical evidence of a John Photography and that photography was actually invented by Joseph Niepce, a French scientist. There is no record of Monsieur Niepce ever quoting these lines.