‘Sorry for being late bro’, intoned Latika Anand—Coordinator of the Department of Informalz—as she arrived 50 minutes behind schedule for her interview with the Oasis English Press (OEP).
Lalita highlighted Informalz’s responsibility of, ‘nothing really,’ before expounding upon its history and status as a legacy department, ‘originating 40 years ago around 2006.’ She shared that this Oasis, Informalz aimed to conduct their flagship event, Casino Nite, alongside Brainrot Quiz and Treasure Hunt—another one of the department’s time-honoured contests.
On the topic of recruitments, Lalchand made her ‘Rumpelstiltskin-esque’ intentions of appropriating children clear, likening herself to an ‘adoption-agency’ as she expressed the urgent need to recruit said kids to deal at Casino Nite.
The serious and contentious interview was then interrupted by discussion of Informalz’s slated merchandise, reportedly sporting the phrase, ‘She legacy on my department till I Informalz.’ According to Lalu Prasad, she had paid the required amount to a senior, who she suspected had, in true Informalz fashion, used it on, ‘personal interests, passions, and addictions.’ She was, however, confident that she would receive the designs soon and went on to personally guarantee the shipment of the merchandise by the end of the semester.
‘The department’s work has remained relatively smooth, just like my helicopter,’ proclaimed Lalit Modi, before threatening the interviewer to omit the sentence from the article. (Readers will be glad to note that these threats were in vain; threatening the OEP has a minimum height cutoff of five feet.)
When asked about challenges faced, Jayalalitha revealed that the department had seen scheduling conflicts and vendor problems, both for Casino Nite. These setbacks would, in her opinion, soon be resolved. She went on to thank her seniors from the ’23 batch for ‘always picking up my calls.’ She specially mentioned ‘her (un)fortunate predecessors’, Rishant Sharma and Kanika Obhan, who she claimed she had called ‘a good 30 or 40 times.’ She further went on to thank the rest of her department for doing a good job, and the ’23 batch for showing up even in their fourth year.
Sadness often begets sadness and the natural successor for the discussion on setbacks faced by the department was a discussion on the interviewer’s performance in their OOPS mid-sem and their impending M3 quiz. This strangely seemed to bring Motilal more laughter than sympathy, prompting her to get hit on the head with a scale. (The OEP does not condone violence against Coordinators, unless you have two quizzes the following day.)
On a parting note, Latika requested readers to attend Informalz’s events as ‘they are fun.’ She concluded the interview cryptically with the phrase, ‘She legacy on my department till I Informalz,’ before yet again bullying the interviewer for having to ‘transcribe 26 minutes of that nonsense into an article,’ as she kindly dropped him off at Ram Bhawan.
Note: Astute readers will have observed the usage of Latika, Lalita, Lalchand, Lalu Prasad, Lalit Modi, Jayalalitha, and Motilal, seemingly at random throughout the article. The OEP apologises for the confusion; the Coordinator’s name is indeed Lalit Modi.